Any man or woman walking the martial way is inherently alone. This condition results from the existential reality of death. Every person possesses only one life to lose. This life can be harnessed or wasted depending on the choices of the individual. Others will attempt to claim false ownership over the life of the individual through obligation, shame, and outright attack, yet the ultimate outcome of a life belongs only to the possessor of that life. Therefore, no one 'needs' to do anything at all other than die. Death is the only obligation of the martial artist. When someone feels they 'need' to do something they are merely responding to the reinforcements and punishments of others.
I do not need to go to work, get married, raise children, or pay taxes. I choose to do these things because of the consequences. If these things cease having positive consequences, I will escape or destroy them. My life and death belong only to me, for I am the only one to suffer them and I have only a short time left. No one can truly help me. No one can truly harm me. Only I can help or harm myself by choosing how to respond to conflict. Further, the more adept I become at walking alone, the more immune I become to the attacks of others. Shame, blackmail, extortion, and threats will become mere obstacles to be ignored or removed as I accomplish my own goals. Those who help me, I help. Those who harm me, I avoid or destroy. I have no other prerogative.
In this way, loneliness is not a lack of company, for there are many with friends who feel most isolated. Loneliness is merely a deficiency of respect. This can be corrected through associations with others but it can just as easily be remedied through self respect of one's accomplishments. Miyamoto Musashi on his deathbed wrote The Way of Walking Alone or Dokkodo, which extols several principles:
1. Accept everything just the way it is.
This precept is the most difficult to follow. Your life is exactly as it should be. You need only to respond effectively.
2. Do not seek pleasure for its own sake.
In matters of pleasure, take only that which sustains you.
3. Do not, under any circumstances, depend on a partial feeling.
One should never act on a hunch, guess, or assume without testing the outcome of a situation. Guessing is the same as gambling, and often results in loss.
4. Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world.
Be focused on the world around you, the conflicts you face, and the way of acting effectively. Own your life and put it to good use.
5. Be detached from desire your whole life.
Make decisions based on logic, rather than impulse.
6. Do not regret what you have done.
Your regret is an ego trip for those who seek to control you. It is an admission of surrender. If you are free of regret, you are immune from shame. Your accomplishments and mistakes are your own. You must own them and no one can carry them but you.
7. Never be jealous.
Jealousy is merely an acknowledgement that you do not own something. When a lover cheats on you, you no longer own her devotion. Leave her. When someone owns something you desire, do not covet their good fortune. Build your own.
8. Never let yourself be saddened by a separation.
Death and loneliness are inevitable facts of existence. To be discouraged by them is useless.
9. Resentment and complaint are appropriate neither for oneself nor others.
Do not indulge in resentment or tolerate that indulgence from others. It is a waste of time and a distraction from the way.
10. Do not let yourself be guided by the feeling of lust or love.
Do not pursue romance on impulse. Be logical about your choice of partners.
11. In all things, have no preferences.
What you prefer can be used against you. Preference is maladaptive.
12. Be indifferent to where you live.
Your domicile is less important than your use of time.
13. Do not pursue the taste of good food.
Eat to sustain yourself, not to indulge.
14. Do not hold onto possessions you no longer need.
Sentimentality is weakness. It creates an opening for opponents who wish to undermine your peace. Discard your treasures. Honor people who are good to you instead.
15. Do not act following customary beliefs.
Your criterion for belief should be objective, not conventional.
16. Do not collect weapons or practice with weapons beyond what is useful.
Collecting weapons distracts from the martial way, which requires neither weapons nor violence to neutralize conflict. If a weapon is necessary, pick the best one for your needs and maintain it.
17. Do not fear death.
Death is an inevitable, neutral occurrence. It is your only obligation.
18. Do not seek to possess either goods or fiefs for your old age.
Wealth that goes to the grave is wasted. It is also an indulgence which can be taken from you. Reliance on that wealth is an admission of frailty.
19. Respect Buddha and the gods without counting on their help.
Respect religion, but do not rely on its false comforts.
20. You may abandon your own body, but you must preserve your honor.
Dying an honorable death is the goal of the martial way. Never yield your honor to an opponent.
21. Never stray from the way.
Once a martial artist, always a martial artist. You cannot dabble in the martial arts as a hobby. A weekly Tae Bo or kickboxing class is not sufficient to exemplify the martial way.
These principles help clarify the way of living alone. Have nothing to lose and you have everything to gain.
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