Halfway Through

 At 6 weeks of protein supplementation, symptoms of muscle tightness, breathing difficulty, exhaustion, and brain fog/forgetfulness/confusion have intensified.  I’ve begun using written reminders to help me stay reliable to those who depend on me.  Workouts have become uncomfortable.  Driving for long distances tires me and when I’m tired I can scarcely speak with family or work associates.

A long driving trip out of town, which would typically be enjoyable to me, exhausted me for the entirety of the vacation and made vacation activities exquisitely uncomfortable.  I had to push through sheerly out of love for my family, who had a difficult time understanding my irritability and silence.  I lost my temper easily at the slightest perceived disrespect, which indicates a confluence of DM2 symptoms with increased testosterone.

Sex drive was increased, which can only be a good sign compared to the previous absence of any drive at all.  However, the act is completed hastily given overall exhaustion.  My pelvic floor control has gradually improved.  

I have found massage to be a helpful therapeutic, since it allows full stretch in the muscles around my ribcage which helps me breathe fully during sleep.  This is required almost daily to reset normal muscle length and allow me to breathe easily.  The fact I am gaining even more abnormal muscle tissue than normal from exercise makes massage indispensable for normal quality of life.

Another contributing factor to breathing difficulty has been increased fatigue in the respiratory musculature, especially during sleep or unconscious breathing.  The pelvic floor muscles similarly fatigued after excessive time between bathroom visits and this was easily remedied by going more often for 2 days.  However, I can’t stop breathing, so recovery of fatigued respiratory muscles has been much slower.  Focusing on breathing for shorter intervals than I exhale has allowed slow recovery of inhaling strength over the course of days.

At the halfway point, I am exhausted, but grimly committed to my task.  More news will follow at week 9 of protein supplementation.

The Puzzle Completed

Years of health mysteries have come to a head with a simple discovery.  I'm functionally infertile due to low sperm count likely caused by a rare genetic disorder.  I strongly suspect DM2 (rippling muscle disease or Ricker Syndrome) is the culprit (soon to be verified).  This has required a sudden and drastic attempt to increase sperm count by increasing protein intake and exercise based solely on the possibly spurious notion that my body may be able to increase sperm production if more protein and testosterone are present in the body.  Even if these measures increase count, it may only be enough to make in vitro fertilization a viable option for my wife and I who would select gametes without this disorder for implantation.  Right now, I produce 0.0875% of the sperm I should be producing at my age.  Having this disorder explains the sudden fatigue spells, the muscle cramps, the skin problems, the digestive disturbances, the congestive heart failure, the mood imbalances, the spontaneous loss of libido and sexual function, the desperate attraction to only optimally fertile women in the past couple years followed by complete inability to become aroused by anyone at all (all of this tortured me with guilt and depression, since my sex drive was essentially rejecting any woman older than 25, my wife included, and then eventually rejected everyone outright).  Despite all of this, I retain normal levels of testosterone and normal health markers.  

I'm now ending week 3 of exercise and protein supplementation (66 grams of supplemented protein + meat for dinner) and many of the above mentioned symptoms have intensified, even while my sexual function has sporadically returned and faded seemingly at random, which indicates some small but significant effect of the lifestyle modification.  I've added dips, pullups, lunges, sprinting, bear crawls, kettlebell snatches, and high kicking to form a 5 day routine of moderately severe exercise.  The severity of some symptoms has prompted me to reincorporate fruits and vegetables to help curb inflammation caused by this disease.  It has helped somewhat.  At this juncture, I am 1/4 of the way into my 12 week sperm increasing cycle.  Another semen analysis will determine how successful the experiment has been, if at all.  If I am able to succeed, I can preserve my lineage without passing on this disease.  If I fail, I will need to learn how to value living as I decline in function and grow old without heirs.

Right now, I feel physically well overall, but my throat aches, my incontinent struggling genitals remain atrophied, my brain hangs in an exhausted fog, my emotions weigh heavily on me, and I despair for the future of my family.  I have looked into the abyss wondering if I should stop swimming and sink down into the mire, but I will persevere until my duties are performed as husband and aspiring father.  This is a low point in my life.  I may have been lower before, but I can't recall exactly when.  More updates will be posted as the weeks drag by.  For now, I am thankful I can still walk, exercise, eat, and work.